What should Taarika do?

Taarika grew up in a middle class family, which was a lower middle class family when she came into the world. She won the “parent lottery”, for she was born in a family of strong moral and ethical values- a family where she saw parents working around the clock all round the year, even on national holidays- a family who taught her to open her mind in all respects, be it in academics or elsewhere. She had an incredible childhood with parents who tried to get all things right. In monetary terms, they had some really hard times. Every year they tried Taarika and her sibling to get admission in reputed private schools, and despite them successfully getting admission, they had to drop the idea- the sole reason being they could not afford the fee. Only when one of their kids passed out of school and they had become financially more stable, did they think of admitting the school-going kid into a more reputed private school.

Appropriately named, Taarika, was her parents’ aankhon ka tara…People said that she had grown into a nice young lady with an endearing temperament, who almost instantly impressed one and all! She was calm and composed in his interactions.

Taarika was now grown up enough to go to a professional set-up. As any other kid (young lady) of her age, she too was excited for her “new” life and had all the passion required to make it big.

For a considerable amount of time, she was made to do things which did not suit her interest at all. All her life she had believed that through perseverance one could develop interest in almost anything. Well, if you come to think of it, you would definitely appreciate this attitude. In fact, one could think that this attitude could help make one learn anything- can even help a painter become an actuary. They say it all depends on how you think and what you think of yourself! But the important question here is: will a painter love doing actuarial calculations as much as painting? Would he not get bored of doing something he is not inclined to do?

In her formative years, Taarika believed in herself and that the candor of her speech and actions could win hearts! She dressed up in a simple manner- never made a conscious attempt to impress anybody! She always tried to be receptive and submissive. She was the ultimate example of a girl who knew what she didn’t know- she didn’t even hesitate to admit it. This, she believed, was her strength. However, as time passed by, she came across large number of people who left no stone unturned to eradicate this quality from her. The same girl, Taarika, was now a relatively much introvert girl. Gradually, she started losing her self- confidence and had a much lower self-image. She started lowering the bar for herself. As her bated enthusiasm was perceived in a negative light, she almost thought she was of no good and often even questioned her existence.

In another corner of her heart, she had the most satisfaction. She was going to be married to the man of her dreams- a man who, she believed, would be her guiding light and be her cheerleader throughout her life! She even believed that he could make her accomplish her goals and yet give her the most comfort. This kept her going!

After days and months of introspection and contemplation, she boldly told herself that there was zero probability of her liking what she was doing and more so, where she was doing. Although she was in a professional set-up, nobody knew she was still a kid- a kid who was not yet ready to be played upon by the world.

She did not want to lose faith in human beings, but she was forced by the circumstances to not have faith in all. She didn’t want circumstances to teach her all this. She loved herself the way she was.

All she wanted was love- love which was completely non-illusionary.

She knew what she wanted in life, but lacked in the art of channelising her efforts in the right direction, coupled with her inability to be able to say it out to people who mattered to her. All she required in life was a move, a push in the aimed direction that could catapult her to stardom and heights, to capture her long-cherished dreams.