One year in Bangalore!

Last year around the same time, I stepped into a new world. To be precise, it was the 20th of July when I moved from New Delhi, my home to Bangalore for my job. Last evening when Mom reminded of the day, it evoked so many memories and I thought to myself, oh, has it really been one full year?!

I still remember how I secured this first job of mine- it was a surprise for me! I had no plans to embark on a professional position so early in life. But it was destined for me perhaps! What came as a surprise package was Sumita (my sister) securing a job in the same organization and her decision to accompany me! And soon after getting the offer letter, we headed towards our new destination, Bangalore. The memories of leaving home still leave me moist eyed… I had thought I would gradually come to terms with it and no doubt, I did, but many a times still, I feel like secretly leaving this place (and consequently my job too!) and going back home amidst my loved ones! But you see, these are just thoughts which travel in my mind every now and then but are never implemented! ;)

Exactly like a college student, who observes every little thing in the new institute he joins, I too remember noticing every li’l thing on my first day- from the glass entrance gate, pretty paintings hung all over the premises, board rooms, Aon mugs, working people, their formal attire, to pantry, washrooms and much more. The first day was fun!

As soon as we stepped out of our cocoon of protection, responsibilities seemed to increase manifold, in every respect! We had to take care of each other, had to keep in mind all the time, the do’s and don’ts, learnt to cook and took professional life in our stride. The learning took a step further when we went to Germany, as it was a different country and we were among a host of new people and more so because to fit into the lifestyle there, one needs to be lot more independent than one needs to be in India. I think in the span of this one year, both Sumita and I have transformed into more mature and independent individuals. We both realise now that the golden thread of living a meanigful and productive life is self-discipline, without daddy having to tell us this.

The journey at Aon, so far, has been good. They say that it is the journey which is more important and not the destination. With different set of challenges, different needs and requirements to be met and of course the expectations, it has been more like a bumpy ride for me. But what makes me call the experience good is the fact that I stepped into the real world, wherein I had to deal with people coming from different strata of society and from very different backgrounds and values. Not appreciating much, I have seen people taking every opportunity to let down others, like minded people forming their own group and bitching about others and what not! But again, there are always people with whom you are compatible. To be honest, it was not a very easy experience for me, and I am still learning to co-exist despite all odds!

Many people know that I thank my company a lot for sending us to Germany for a good four-month long period and thereby giving us a chance to visit other countries too. (More than work, it was fun there!) I know I would have never been able to visit these countries so early in life otherwise. I visited four countries- Germany, UK, Belgium and France. Without giving a second thought, trip to London was indeed the best for many reasons! I thank my company for this! :)


Things do change once you become a part of the corporate world. Five out the seven days you generate new ideas and produce results and as soon as the weekend approaches, you start making plans to pamper the real you to the fullest- sing, dance, watch movies, go shopping and what not! The weekends were never so special when we used to go to college or school! We have a home away from home in Bangalore. I enjoy myself a lot with Sumita and Uncle (Tony bhaiya). We enjoy taking Carnatic music lessons from our teacher and we love spending time with her. What we also enjoy here is going to Rama Sharnam on Sundays- we can sing bhajans there and then meeting up such friendly people is what one looks for all the time! All in all, I feel we are enjoying a life of simplicity, serenity and harmony! Thanks to all the people responsible for making life beautiful in a new city!

We are but recent leaves on the same old tree...

I read it somewhere and it instantly appealed me!

Here it is-

We are all but recent leaves on the same old tree of life and if this life has adapted itself to new functions and conditions, it uses the same old basic principles over and over again.
There is no real difference between the grass and the man who mows it.

Just For You...

For someone in my dreams... :-)

Just For you...

Dear, You are Miles Away

But Always Near,

Unseen for Months together

But Always Close,

Unheard for Days

Still Echoing in my Ears…

Remembered each moment

- You are my soul’s Best Friend…

You Motivate me to Give a Good Try

And Instill Confidence in me to know How High I can Fly

Convince me that the sky can shift a li’l High…

-You are my Inspiration…

You know to turn my Tears into Smile,

You know to turn my Anger into Laughter,

When low in life, You give a Shoulder to Cry,

-You are my pillar of Support; my Strength…

You don’t know how Good You are,

But I know how Special You are,

You are a precious person I never want to lose

Life without You would be Life without Breath

-You are my Lifeline

I want to be yours till eternity!

I am feeling good today!

I have been away from the world of blogging for almost a month now, as studies, besides work, had been keeping me occupied big time! A few times I thought of writing here and felt like pouring out all my tension and stress, but then thought what would really help me in relieving it is actually preparing for the exams! I am a student of Actuarial Science and am taking my core technical (popularly known as CT) exams. For those of you who do not know what "Actuarial Science" is, please make a google search and you will get loads and loads of detail! But, just to brief you before you actually start looking it up on google, it is a discipline that involves and applies mathematical and statistical methods to the assess risks in the insurance industry, besides other industries. To pursue this course, one has to take exams (and clear them too!) from the Institute of Actuaries of India/ UK or from other actuarial societies in the rest of the world. Well, this is the conventional way to pursue the course, however, there are other options open too but I am in no mood to go into details right now! (I might do so when I am holding a counselling session for someone to pursue a branch of mathematics!!!)
So yes, I was telling that I was and I am preparing for some exams of the CT series and for this session, I chose to study CT6 and CT7, papers on Statistical Models and Economics respectively. When I had to decide on what exams I would want to do, some of my colleagues opined that CT6 is a tough exam and CT7 is bit too lengthy and the two together will be difficult to manage along with the job! But I just decided to go ahead with my decision as there were others too who supported my idea and said that it'll be no problem! (There are always different views and opinions by different individuals, stemming from the fact that they have different calibers too!)
During the course of my preparation, I indeed found it difficult to study after coming back from work but had no option, but to study! Meanwhile, I kept disturbing some of my friends - telling that I am not able to study the way I want to owing to the tiredness after work and other daily constraints! Didn’t even step back from my usual habit of crying every now and then, when tensed!! No one but Saurabh bhaiya and Sumita can tell how much I cry! Ha ha ha! (It has become a part of my life now... just kidding!) Then there is Charchit who constantly motivated me to study hard and instilled confidence in me that I can do it, besides helping me big time preparing for the "Statistical Models" exam! I will just quote one thing that he says each time he finds me tensed, "Exams are for your betterment and not to keep you tensed"! His words often leave me thinking and eventually help me come out of my problems too… can write more and acknowledge too, but for now, I shall keep it short!

The journey of my preparation for these exams had begun back in Germany, when we were relatively away from pressure of work, besides the less time consuming travel & pollution here that is absolutely painful and makes you all the more tired! It was then that I studied a major chunk for my Economics exam and did just a few chapters of the other one! Soon after coming back from Germany, I realised that the other paper is gonna be tough and will get on my nerves later if I do not put in consistent effort! And so, I studied religiously each day, depending on the time at my disposal, carried my rucksack daily to office with all the books and notes that I might just feel like studying, when free. I was lucky enough to have a lot of free time in office too on some days!!! But despite all this, what kept me worrying all this while was the fact that these exams were going to be held on consecutive days and I knew it is going to be very hard to prepare for the exam next day, let alone revising them! (I know, lot of people have already faced such a situation in their lives and some of us have even taken more than one exam in a single day, but for me it was going to be the first time ever and I was really scared as these exams are not at all easy!) It took some time to sink into me and I started preparing accordingly! The two exams were scheduled on 27th of April and today, the 28th of April. In no time these “awaited” days (ummm... yes, awaited!) were here and I appeared for the exams!

As the title of my blog says, “I am feeling good today”, some of you may have guessed by now that the exams went off well!! Well, that’s not really the case! ;) Now, don’t start thinking that I am feeling good because they are over; that’s not the case either!! (I still have two more exams in the coming month!) Ummm… I do not really know whether I will pass these exams or not (depends on the examiner too, you see!) but somewhere there is a sense of satisfaction that I tried my best, given all the constraints. If I pass, it will be all thanks to the blessings and good wishes of all my well wishers, Mumma and Daddy’s constant encouragement, Charchit’s efforts to make me understand concepts, Sumita’s constant support and care and of course my efforts too! At this moment, I am just keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best - as my friend Pooju says, “Do your best and He will do the rest!” To pamper myself today, I went to a nice restaurant here in Bangalore with some of my colleagues (who also took the exam with me) and had Mutton Biryani! It was yummm…! Everything tastes good when you feel good, isn’t it?!

It is all about compatibility...

The other day a good friend of mine critically pointed out to me on something and her comment left my mind with myriad thoughts. I was disturbed to some extent... But since I consider her as someone who always gives frank opinions and suggestions and as she was telling me something that she doesn't find good, I thought to think about it and improve upon it and better take her comments in my stride. But as is human behavior, I kept pondering & thinking if her comments made any sense.

In a nutshell, what this friend said was that she was of the opinion that I gel well with people in a spur of a moment and did not have a scintilla of doubt in that. But what came as a (not so pleasant) surprise was the 'fact' that I no longer behave in the same fashion! She observed that I don't stay in groups of people and that I am always seen either alone or with just two-three selected individuals! True to some extent... She asked me the reason- I was dumbfounded!

As she left, a number of questions triggered in my mind- "have I really changed?", "have I really become unfriendly?" & so on...

I even talked to Sumita about it, trying to justify my stance by giving various arguments. It then seemed to me as if she too subscribes to my friend's thoughts. I tried to convince her by saying that there are some people liked the most by you, who top your choice list, whereas there are others who are not liked by you as much and there is nothing wrong in staying with people whom you like more. Further, I added that not everyone is good, to which she gave a spontaneous and quite matured reply. She explained to me that it is not right to say that a person is not good. Each individual on this earth is good in his/ her own way and each one has some qualities. It is just that some people get along with you better and vice-a-versa and others, lesser than them and some just do not. She said, "it is all about compatibility". I was so convinced with what she told me in just a minute! I got answers to all my questions! I thought, how well you get along with a person depends, to some extent, on what you value in life, your likings and dislikings and how well your wavelength matches with the other person. If you are compatible with someone in terms of what you value in life etc, you feel more inclined towards him/ her.

While each relationship is complex and beautiful in its own way, some eventually become more important than the others- it is a fact and that, I believe, happens with almost all of us.

Though our discussion was pretty conclusive, I was certain to bring about a change in my current conduct, keeping all my apprehensions at a distance. No doubt that small comment made a difference to me and made me understand a crucial facet of life better.
...The last week has been quite a different experience for me and I seem to be liking it! I do acknowledge my friend for this! :-)

Life Is Colourful...

When each colour is seen clearly, it is colourful.

When all the colours get mixed, you end up with black!

So also in life, we play different roles. Each role and emotion needs to be clearly defined. Emotional confusion creates problems...

You can't be a father at the office. When you mix the roles in your life, you start making mistakes. Whatever role you play in life, give yourself fully to it.

Harmony in diversity makes life vibrant and more colourful!

-Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

Think before you speak...

A few days back, while talking to a very close friend of mine, I said something which perhaps I should not have. I say this not because I didn't want to say it or share it with him, but because I did not think even once about its repercussions. I was completely unaware how he'll take it- in a casual way or too seriously. The kind of person I am, I did not think twice before sharing it with him; I was impulsive I would say and I realise this now!

A dozen other things followed a not so carefully spoken word and troubled me to the core till the time I realised where I went wrong. Had I once thought before speaking it, I would not have faced all that I did. What I want to convey here is that that one should avoid impulsive reactions and should be a little cautious before speaking anything! (Even with friends!) Well, I am nowhere saying that one should always give a careful thought before speaking everything (because otherwise the there would be no fun, the spontaneity would be gone!) but I just want to say that issues that may involve a 'sensitive' element should either be avoided or carefully spoken! And that is simply because realizing later does not always help! No matter what you say later, however apologetic you may feel, you have to bear the consequences of the word that just 'slipped off'. You waste the whole day thinking about it- thinking about why it happened. You unknowingly hurt your friend and you are yourself hurt... :-( Isn't it better to watch your words?! Another important aspect of communication is how you say a particular thing or how you put it, it is in fact more important than what you say and the tone is equally important too.

So friends, next time "think before you speak"! :-)

Express Yourself...

It has been quite some time now that I have been thinking to start writing blogs. But every time I think of it, the first question that comes to my mind is “write what?” Ironically, the very thought of writing out something comes when the mind is full of thoughts! Then, what is it that stops me from writing something online?? (I do make diary entries quite often! ) Well, I would say that it is human nature- human nature to try to do things ‘right’; we try to sound smart & try to use the most uncommon words to give that ‘special effect’! It is a human tendency to seek admiration for what we do and approval of others! Yeah, it is a fact… The other day I read somewhere that our minds are trained to self-doubt, self-scrutiny rather than self-expression and I feel it is so very true. Perhaps this is something that worked as a driving force for this first blog of mine!


I have been reading my friend’s blogs and each and every time I feel that something written straight from the heart, without trying hard at framing the right sentences and using the most appropriate words and just letting yourself write your heart out, is what makes some pieces of writing so special and instantly appeals the readers as well. Besides, flow-writing is one of the most effective ways to let yourself speak- your true inner self. It can, at times, act as a stress buster and has its natural healing formula.
A lot of times, owing to our busy and tight-scheduled lives, we do not get time to be with ourselves and often do not have time to know ourselves better. But once we start writing, it gives some sense of satisfaction that yes, we aren’t ignoring ourselves. Believe it or not, there is something highly satisfying about simply letting yourself write and it, in itself, is an experience- writing whatever floats in your mind, be it repetitive, uninteresting, haphazard or deep and profound! According to American research findings, it has been proved that expressing your emotions through writing even helps one to maintain a better physical health and allows a person to be more productive in his/ her work. As also, writing gives you confidence to voice your opinion and to believe in yourself.


What also makes some pieces of writings special are the events associated with them. Each one of us have some special moments/ events in our lives and to keep the memories ‘ever fresh’, the best way is to write about them as and when they happen! J Some of my diary entries still bring me a smile and I read them time and again!! I wish to continue writing here and thereby, hone my writing skills too!