It is all about compatibility...

The other day a good friend of mine critically pointed out to me on something and her comment left my mind with myriad thoughts. I was disturbed to some extent... But since I consider her as someone who always gives frank opinions and suggestions and as she was telling me something that she doesn't find good, I thought to think about it and improve upon it and better take her comments in my stride. But as is human behavior, I kept pondering & thinking if her comments made any sense.

In a nutshell, what this friend said was that she was of the opinion that I gel well with people in a spur of a moment and did not have a scintilla of doubt in that. But what came as a (not so pleasant) surprise was the 'fact' that I no longer behave in the same fashion! She observed that I don't stay in groups of people and that I am always seen either alone or with just two-three selected individuals! True to some extent... She asked me the reason- I was dumbfounded!

As she left, a number of questions triggered in my mind- "have I really changed?", "have I really become unfriendly?" & so on...

I even talked to Sumita about it, trying to justify my stance by giving various arguments. It then seemed to me as if she too subscribes to my friend's thoughts. I tried to convince her by saying that there are some people liked the most by you, who top your choice list, whereas there are others who are not liked by you as much and there is nothing wrong in staying with people whom you like more. Further, I added that not everyone is good, to which she gave a spontaneous and quite matured reply. She explained to me that it is not right to say that a person is not good. Each individual on this earth is good in his/ her own way and each one has some qualities. It is just that some people get along with you better and vice-a-versa and others, lesser than them and some just do not. She said, "it is all about compatibility". I was so convinced with what she told me in just a minute! I got answers to all my questions! I thought, how well you get along with a person depends, to some extent, on what you value in life, your likings and dislikings and how well your wavelength matches with the other person. If you are compatible with someone in terms of what you value in life etc, you feel more inclined towards him/ her.

While each relationship is complex and beautiful in its own way, some eventually become more important than the others- it is a fact and that, I believe, happens with almost all of us.

Though our discussion was pretty conclusive, I was certain to bring about a change in my current conduct, keeping all my apprehensions at a distance. No doubt that small comment made a difference to me and made me understand a crucial facet of life better.
...The last week has been quite a different experience for me and I seem to be liking it! I do acknowledge my friend for this! :-)

Life Is Colourful...

When each colour is seen clearly, it is colourful.

When all the colours get mixed, you end up with black!

So also in life, we play different roles. Each role and emotion needs to be clearly defined. Emotional confusion creates problems...

You can't be a father at the office. When you mix the roles in your life, you start making mistakes. Whatever role you play in life, give yourself fully to it.

Harmony in diversity makes life vibrant and more colourful!

-Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

Think before you speak...

A few days back, while talking to a very close friend of mine, I said something which perhaps I should not have. I say this not because I didn't want to say it or share it with him, but because I did not think even once about its repercussions. I was completely unaware how he'll take it- in a casual way or too seriously. The kind of person I am, I did not think twice before sharing it with him; I was impulsive I would say and I realise this now!

A dozen other things followed a not so carefully spoken word and troubled me to the core till the time I realised where I went wrong. Had I once thought before speaking it, I would not have faced all that I did. What I want to convey here is that that one should avoid impulsive reactions and should be a little cautious before speaking anything! (Even with friends!) Well, I am nowhere saying that one should always give a careful thought before speaking everything (because otherwise the there would be no fun, the spontaneity would be gone!) but I just want to say that issues that may involve a 'sensitive' element should either be avoided or carefully spoken! And that is simply because realizing later does not always help! No matter what you say later, however apologetic you may feel, you have to bear the consequences of the word that just 'slipped off'. You waste the whole day thinking about it- thinking about why it happened. You unknowingly hurt your friend and you are yourself hurt... :-( Isn't it better to watch your words?! Another important aspect of communication is how you say a particular thing or how you put it, it is in fact more important than what you say and the tone is equally important too.

So friends, next time "think before you speak"! :-)

Express Yourself...

It has been quite some time now that I have been thinking to start writing blogs. But every time I think of it, the first question that comes to my mind is “write what?” Ironically, the very thought of writing out something comes when the mind is full of thoughts! Then, what is it that stops me from writing something online?? (I do make diary entries quite often! ) Well, I would say that it is human nature- human nature to try to do things ‘right’; we try to sound smart & try to use the most uncommon words to give that ‘special effect’! It is a human tendency to seek admiration for what we do and approval of others! Yeah, it is a fact… The other day I read somewhere that our minds are trained to self-doubt, self-scrutiny rather than self-expression and I feel it is so very true. Perhaps this is something that worked as a driving force for this first blog of mine!


I have been reading my friend’s blogs and each and every time I feel that something written straight from the heart, without trying hard at framing the right sentences and using the most appropriate words and just letting yourself write your heart out, is what makes some pieces of writing so special and instantly appeals the readers as well. Besides, flow-writing is one of the most effective ways to let yourself speak- your true inner self. It can, at times, act as a stress buster and has its natural healing formula.
A lot of times, owing to our busy and tight-scheduled lives, we do not get time to be with ourselves and often do not have time to know ourselves better. But once we start writing, it gives some sense of satisfaction that yes, we aren’t ignoring ourselves. Believe it or not, there is something highly satisfying about simply letting yourself write and it, in itself, is an experience- writing whatever floats in your mind, be it repetitive, uninteresting, haphazard or deep and profound! According to American research findings, it has been proved that expressing your emotions through writing even helps one to maintain a better physical health and allows a person to be more productive in his/ her work. As also, writing gives you confidence to voice your opinion and to believe in yourself.


What also makes some pieces of writings special are the events associated with them. Each one of us have some special moments/ events in our lives and to keep the memories ‘ever fresh’, the best way is to write about them as and when they happen! J Some of my diary entries still bring me a smile and I read them time and again!! I wish to continue writing here and thereby, hone my writing skills too!