The other day a good friend of mine critically pointed out to me on something and her comment left my mind with myriad thoughts. I was disturbed to some extent... But since I consider her as someone who always gives frank opinions and suggestions and as she was telling me something that she doesn't find good, I thought to think about it and improve upon it and better take her comments in my stride. But as is human behavior, I kept pondering & thinking if her comments made any sense.
In a nutshell, what this friend said was that she was of the opinion that I gel well with people in a spur of a moment and did not have a scintilla of doubt in that. But what came as a (not so pleasant) surprise was the 'fact' that I no longer behave in the same fashion! She observed that I don't stay in groups of people and that I am always seen either alone or with just two-three selected individuals! True to some extent... She asked me the reason- I was dumbfounded!
As she left, a number of questions triggered in my mind- "have I really changed?", "have I really become unfriendly?" & so on...
I even talked to Sumita about it, trying to justify my stance by giving various arguments. It then seemed to me as if she too subscribes to my friend's thoughts. I tried to convince her by saying that there are some people liked the most by you, who top your choice list, whereas there are others who are not liked by you as much and there is nothing wrong in staying with people whom you like more. Further, I added that not everyone is good, to which she gave a spontaneous and quite matured reply. She explained to me that it is not right to say that a person is not good. Each individual on this earth is good in his/ her own way and each one has some qualities. It is just that some people get along with you better and vice-a-versa and others, lesser than them and some just do not. She said, "it is all about compatibility". I was so convinced with what she told me in just a minute! I got answers to all my questions! I thought, how well you get along with a person depends, to some extent, on what you value in life, your likings and dislikings and how well your wavelength matches with the other person. If you are compatible with someone in terms of what you value in life etc, you feel more inclined towards him/ her.
While each relationship is complex and beautiful in its own way, some eventually become more important than the others- it is a fact and that, I believe, happens with almost all of us.
Though our discussion was pretty conclusive, I was certain to bring about a change in my current conduct, keeping all my apprehensions at a distance. No doubt that small comment made a difference to me and made me understand a crucial facet of life better.
...The last week has been quite a different experience for me and I seem to be liking it! I do acknowledge my friend for this! :-)
...The last week has been quite a different experience for me and I seem to be liking it! I do acknowledge my friend for this! :-)
4 comments:
Dear Ritu,
I totally subscribe to what Sumita suggested to you. If you are always surrounded by few people, you miss much of the fun that comes along with some 'non-best' people!!
It is very important in life to have few people with whom you can share yourself but then there should be many people for whom you are always a mystery - what say?
Keep posting - I am sure the next few posts are going to be much more resourceful for the people who read your blogs!
I agree with you, Charchit. I think I was scrutinizing too much lately but have stopped doing that now!! :)
Another thing, I never thought about having people in my life for whom I am a mystery- certainly a good idea!! Ha ha ha! ;) ;)
Keep reading and commenting.
I always told u Sumi is wiser than u! :-)
She is right - It is not right to say that some people are not good. Every person is good in their own way, it is how good they are to you and how compatible are you with them.
Also, at times it is not about compatibility only. At times, some people are destined to be close to you despite the fact that nothing matches between you and them. What I mean to say is that there might be a person around who would be opposite to you in terms of habits, thinking, etc but still you get along well just because you know that that person is nice at heart! (Example: ME!!!)
So try and mix with others too because you never know in whom would you find a hidden treasure! ;)
"how well you get along with a person depends, to some extent, on what you value in life, your likings and dislikings and how well your wavelength matches with the other person."
Sooo True !! That's all I want to say...
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